Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
