i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
