And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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