My brain says no but my pants say off.
I looked at my own cervix.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
