Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
