I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
