so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
