they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
