In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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