i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
it was like having sex with a tree stump
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
