If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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