Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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