ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
