Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
