Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"

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  (805): Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore" http://tfl.nu/y23i
  Replies (2) Good night (1503) Bad night (997)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.

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  (301): people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture. http://tfl.nu/g8h6
  Replies (30) Good night (5549) Bad night (1576)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?

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  (859): Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration? http://tfl.nu/14rv
  Replies (13) Good night (810) Bad night (5840)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.

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  (907): I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night. http://tfl.nu/j04h
  Replies (19) Good night (7230) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Its weird to pet your cat with a boner

  (1-406): View more from Montana

  What the fuck?

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  (406): Its weird to pet your cat with a boner (1-406): What the fuck? http://tfl.nu/9pm4
  Replies (48) Good night (2217) Bad night (8906)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices

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  (207): Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices http://tfl.nu/clic
  Replies (34) Good night (7574) Bad night (1371)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.

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  (469): FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES. http://tfl.nu/zom1
  Replies (19) Good night (3848) Bad night (1403)
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  (818): View more from California

  He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.

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  (818): He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore. http://tfl.nu/r68q
  Replies (14) Good night (4219) Bad night (984)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?

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  (715): you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question? http://tfl.nu/kzcn
  Replies (11) Good night (1389) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Would it have been easier if he talked to her?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.

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  (416): Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled. (647): Would it have been easier if he talked to her? (416): Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing. http://tfl.nu/gzgt
  Replies (8) Good night (3815) Bad night (779)
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  (626): View more from California

  obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that

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  (626): obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that http://tfl.nu/w2iu
  Replies (9) Good night (1828) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police

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  (334): So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police http://tfl.nu/ocot
  Replies (5) Good night (1358) Bad night (377)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Welcome to 22

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  (636): I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night (314): Welcome to 22 http://tfl.nu/2vo1
  Replies (2) Good night (470) Bad night (608)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high

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  (253): Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high http://tfl.nu/g7nh
  Replies (4) Good night (633) Bad night (185)
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  (909): View more from California

  I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes

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  (909): I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes http://tfl.nu/upmv
  Replies (2) Good night (374) Bad night (157)

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