He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment