we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
