Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(847): View more from Illinois

i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago

Fav 29 5609 1169
share tweet
(708): View more from Illinois

so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.

Fav 16 4806 1138
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(504): View more from Louisiana

it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina

Fav 16 1067 8583
share tweet
(630): View more from Illinois

I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.

Fav 19 4118 1721
share tweet
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
Read it at the TFLN blog
(219): View more from Indiana

I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...

Fav 22 3700 1437
share tweet
(819): View more from Quebec

I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.

Fav 4 2614 1066
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(706): View more from Georgia

I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.

Fav 4 829 2176
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(519): View more from Ontario

can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high

Fav 2 704 544
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(860): View more from Connecticut

All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!

Fav 2 42 13
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT