I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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