he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
