I looked at my own cervix.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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