this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
