My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think I sprained my soul last night
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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