You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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