i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
