i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I deserve to be covered in dicks
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
