Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
