why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
