What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize