Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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