I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
