I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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