The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
