I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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