I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
