I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
