Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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