No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
