Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
