i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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