I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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