I want to stick my p in your. b.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
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1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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