I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
