I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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