I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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