I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
