The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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