Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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