So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I would ride that face into the sunset
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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