i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
