Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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