I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
