Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
