How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
