I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
