Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
