is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
