how can u be prego again
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
