In the future we'll all be gay
oh god the rape fog is back!
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
