You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
