Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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