it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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