I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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