Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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