Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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