white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
