just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
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She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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