those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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