i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
