Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
