Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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