You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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