i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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