Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
