Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
