How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
