Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
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