maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
