just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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