I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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