We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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