shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
