uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
