It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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