I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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