Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It's blow job season.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
